I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
