Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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