My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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