Your dad touched me again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
