we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
