if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
