I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
