No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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