there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
