we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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