I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize