Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
