Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
