Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
