I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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