apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
