If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize