He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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