Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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