it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize