he puts the penis in happiness.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
