i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
