ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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