All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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