I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
