I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
