Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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