FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
