He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
