you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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