We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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