You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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