its not stalking. its research.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
