He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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