i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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