Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
