I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
