Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
