I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
