Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your penis caused this!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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