Porn is love you can see.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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