he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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