Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize