best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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