We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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