I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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