Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
