Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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