god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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