I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
