I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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