Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
