Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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