This girl is more easily done than said...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
