Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
