last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
