They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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