omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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