I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
