I want to have your abortion
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
