That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Small penises have feelings too.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize