Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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