Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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