Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
