aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just had sex on a roof
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
