The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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