I CAN MOONWALK!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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