I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
