she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
