We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
