his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've blown a few things in my day
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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