Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
