I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
