I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
